Coping Guide
How to Calm Down When You Are Angry
Learning how to calm down when angry starts before the anger peaks. Most people feel angry sometimes, and anger is not wrong in itself, but acting on it in the moment can hurt relationships or you. NHS guidance suggests noticing the early signs, giving yourself time before you react, calming your body, and talking to someone about what is making you angry.
Early signs of anger to notice
The NHS lists physical signs such as a faster heartbeat, tense muscles, clenched fists, tightness in the chest and feeling hot, and mental signs such as feeling tense, irritable or unable to relax. Spotting these early gives you more time to choose what to do.
How to calm down when angry: 7 steps
- Pause before reacting: count to 10, or say you need a moment
- Try a calming breathing exercise: in through your nose, out through your mouth, counting slowly to 5
- Step away from the situation if you can, even for a few minutes
- Move: a brisk walk or stretching can help release tension
- Name what you feel and why, in words or on paper
- Talk to someone who is not involved, such as a friend
- Come back to the issue later, when you can talk calmly about what you need
Things that tend to make anger worse
The NHS advises against using alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve anger, because they can all contribute to poor mental health. Trying to fix everything at once, or focusing on things you cannot change, can also keep you stuck. Small, achievable steps usually work better.
When to get help
Talk to a doctor if you are struggling to cope with anger, if what you try is not working, or if you are acting in an abusive or violent way. A doctor may be able to refer you to anger management or counselling. If you or someone else is in danger right now, contact emergency services.
Sources & further reading
Frequently asked questions
What is the fastest way to calm down when angry?+
NHS guidance suggests giving yourself time before reacting: count to 10 and do a calming breathing exercise, and step away from the situation if you can.
Is it okay to feel angry?+
Yes. Most people feel angry sometimes. What matters is how you act on it, and whether it is affecting your life or other people.
Does exercise help with anger?+
NHS guidance suggests activities such as running, walking, swimming and yoga can help you relax and reduce stress.
When is anger a sign I need help?+
If you are struggling to cope, if self-help is not working, or if you are acting in an abusive or violent way, talk to a doctor.
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