Coping Guide
How to Stop Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk is the harsh inner voice that says you always get it wrong, or that one mistake means you are a failure. Everyone has these thoughts sometimes. The NHS Every Mind Matters approach of "catch it, check it, change it" is a simple CBT-based way to notice them, question them, and replace them with something fairer.
Common types of negative self-talk
NHS guidance lists types of unhelpful thoughts that are worth learning to spot:
- Always expecting the worst outcome
- Ignoring the good and focusing only on the bad
- Black-and-white thinking: things are either perfect or a disaster
- Seeing yourself as the sole cause of anything that goes wrong
Catch it, check it, change it
Catch it: notice the thought, and name the pattern if you can. Check it: ask how likely it really is, what evidence supports it, and what other explanations there might be. Change it: write a more balanced version, the kind of thing you would say to a friend in the same situation.
For example, "I messed up that presentation, I am useless" might become "One part went badly. Other parts went fine, and I can prepare that section differently next time."
Make it a habit
Catching thoughts feels hard at first, because they are automatic. Writing them down in a thought record helps you see patterns over days and weeks. The TheraMind app includes a thought record tool you can use for this.
When to get help
If harsh thoughts about yourself are constant, you feel worthless or hopeless, or you have thoughts of harming yourself, please talk to a doctor or licensed professional, and contact a crisis line if you feel unsafe.
Sources & further reading
Frequently asked questions
What is negative self-talk?+
The critical inner voice that interprets things in the harshest way, for example "I always get things wrong" or "I am a failure".
How do I challenge a negative thought?+
Ask how likely it really is, what evidence supports it, what other explanations there are, and what you would say to a friend thinking it.
What is "catch it, check it, change it"?+
An NHS Every Mind Matters technique: notice an unhelpful thought, examine the evidence for it, and replace it with a more balanced one.
Can journaling help with negative self-talk?+
Writing thoughts down, for example in a thought record, makes patterns easier to spot and question over time.
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